Back At It

Well, after a three-week reprieve from the unrelenting heat, unsolicited marriage proposals, long skirts, and bucket-bathing, I’m back in the hut.  My visit home for the holidays was more than I could have asked for.  It came at a point in my service when I was burnt out, my problem solving skills at an all-time low and my reserve of patience nearly empty.  About a week before my vacation, I met with the women from the handicraft group, attempting to hash out the reasons for the lack of commitment to the project.  One woman turned to me and said, “Nosipho, if our husbands come home and ask us to wash, we can’t go to sell that day, we must stay at home to wash.”  Tears welled in my eyes and I looked away.  What I wanted to do was throw handfuls of sand and yell, “Tell your husbands to man up and wash their own d*** clothes!  You’re not their slave (insert additional profanities)!”  Instead, in an attempt to refrain from unleashing an explosive diatribe regarding my personal views on traditional Swazi gender roles, I held my tongue and spent the rest of the afternoon confined in the refuge of my hut, drowning my frustrations in an entire season of Homeland. It was time for a break.

            While I wouldn’t necessarily use the term relaxing to define my trip home, it was a much-needed pick-me-up.  It was such a blessing to reconnect with friends and family who have known me and loved me for years.  Words can’t describe my gratitude for the support, encouragement, and prayers from so many of you.  Thank you for your hugs, your genuine interest in my work in Swaziland, your generous donations to GLOW, and your affirmation.  I am returning to Swaziland with a renewed energy and motivation thanks to you. 

            Some highlights from my visit include:

·      Being reunited with my family, especially with my Dad, who I hadn’t seen since I left a year and a half ago

·      Friday night drinks with Katie

·      K-girl + sibling reunion hike

·      A visit from Casey, one of my best friends from Emory

·      Hiking in shorts around Muir Woods with Casey, the Holt girls, and my mom – California is truly the best

·      A fun night out with the family to see Book of Mormon in the city

·      Freeman family bowling excursion

·       Skype/phone calls with incredible friends

I think the best part of it all was simply hanging out with my family and doing life together: Megan and I parked on the green couch, Daddy in his leather chair, the animals all gathered around, and Mommy attempting to join us on the sofa for five minute increments until she realized something else she wanted to do (except, of course, when she was playing Candy Crush, during which she could spend long hours completely absorbed in her iPad).  *side note: as I’m writing this blog, I receive a message from my mother: “Candy Crush level 100!!!” So proud, Mom, so proud.

            My trip was too short to process everything as it came.  In some ways, nothing had changed: Daddy still got lost on the way home from the airport, the green sofa has retained its sleep-inducing powers, the Freeman family still keeps See’s Candy in business, and Mommy can still bake enough cookies to feed the entire Kingdom of Swaziland whilst keeping the kitchen in pristine condition (I, unfortunately, did not inherit this skill).  In other ways, everything was different: my family is addicted to Candy Crush, my Dad craves brussel sprouts, everyone now sports FitBits, Lamorinda is even more clad in LuluLemon than it was when I left, drones will soon be delivering our Amazon orders. 

But in all seriousness, the hardest aspect of returning home was realizing how much I’d changed.  When I left, I was a recent college graduate, eager to embark on a journey that had been my dream since high school.  I wasn’t naïve in the sense that I thought I was going to change the world, but I really had no clue what was in store.  I didn’t know that I’d be asked for money every single day of my service, that bomake would be so quick to poke my love handles, that one day I’d watch my family bury a relative in our backyard, that all of my favorite women are HIV positive, that it could take a school 3 months just to put books that I’d bought for them onto the library shelves, and that quite frankly, most people here don’t care to learn from me if I can’t give them something tangible.  I wanted to be able to come home and tell people that my time in Swaziland was incredible, that I have amazing relationships, and that I love this country.  Unfortunately, that’s not the case.  And I’m coming to accept that.  I guess what I didn’t realize is how much this experience would drain me.  It has drained me of my optimism, my empathy, and at times, my faith in humanity.  That’s not to say that there haven’t been any moments of true joy, because there most certainly have been.  Not to mention that this has been a period of significant personal growth as well, which I wouldn’t trade that for anything.  But my time here has made me a bit rough around the edges – I’m slow to trust, yet quick to assume ulterior motives.  I didn’t used to be like that, but that’s just how I’ve adapted to my current circumstances.  When I first arrived back at home, I wanted to leave behind all of the baggage (emotion baggage, that is), that I was carrying with me.  I wanted to pretend like everything was like it used to be, that I was still the gentle and optimistic girl that I was when I left.  I didn’t want to talk about Swaziland because I knew it would bring out my cynical side, yet Swaziland is really all that I have to talk about, considering it has been my life for the past 18 months.  I gave several presentations during visit home and I tried to be as honest as possible about the reality of my experience, without sounding too jaded.  It actually was surprisingly therapeutic to admit to the people that have been so incredibly supportive that I am not, in fact, changing the world, and that my impact here will likely be minimal.  I struggle daily to get Swazis excited about anything and it was refreshing to be surrounded by friends and family who genuinely wanted to learn about Swaziland, the good and the bad.  So thank you to all who listened to my stories, it meant so much to me.  Towards the end of my visit, I started to feel a bit more like my old self – more optimistic, hopeful, and ready to face my last 7 months in Swaziland with gusto.  It’s funny what a couple weeks of showers, home-cooked meals, and love can do.  I didn’t expect to spill my heart out when I started writing this post, but it just sort of happened.  I guess what I’m trying to say is thank you to everyone who listened to my stories, who accepted me and affirmed me for who I am, and who helped me remember that my life as “Nosipho” is only one part of who I am as a person, as Kelsey. 

The day after I returned to Swaziland, I headed to a week long “Training of Trainers (TOT)” for our GLOW program.  Each volunteer brought 1-2 Swazi counterparts to be trained as counselors for the girls empowerment camp that we will host in May.  I couldn’t imagine a better way to kick off the final leg of my time in Peace Corps.  We invited 8 of the Swazi counselors who attended last years’ camp to train this years’ group of women.  Words can’t describe how powerful it was to watch a group of strong, passionate women lead their peers.  These senior counselors led sessions on sexual and reproductive health, gender-based violence, leadership, and goal setting.  The women were actively engaged throughout the entire week, asking honest questions and openly voicing their opinions.  Having struggled to empower the group of women working on the handicraft project to take the business into their own hands and defend their right to work, it was so encouraging to watch a younger generation of Swazi women get fired up about GLOW and about impacting the lives of the young girls with whom they work.  The final night we had a talent show, during which nearly all of the women participated with dramas, songs, and traditional Swazi dances.  Not only was it a joy to see these women participate without reserve, but more importantly, they were having FUN.  I left the training feeling hopeful for the future of women in Swaziland and with a renewed motivation for my own GLOW club.  If all else fails, I know that my time here will be worth it because of GLOW.  Also, a huge thank you to all who contributed to GLOW, both through cash and in-kind donations – please know that your generosity is truly changing lives.

So, here I am, back in my hut, enjoying a bit of down time to catch up on all the reading and TV watching I missed out on while I was home. Yeah, I miss cheese-girl life, but it’s good to be back, especially with the end in sight.  I feel ready to make the most of these last seven months and am looking forward to what this year has in store: a visit in April from my dad and grandmother, a trip to Lesotho in May, and about 2 months of travel after I leave Swaziland in August. Stay tuned for another post about what’s in store work-wise for my final stretch.  Thank you to all who made my time at home so special, it truly meant the world to me!

 fun dinner in the city before Book of Mormon

Gamby and Gumby are Swazified!

beautiful day with incredible friends

my lovely counterpart at GLOW training

back to hut life: sisi hooked me up with a sweet hairdo

Just another day in the Swaz, fishing lost sandals out of the latrine...

Books for Swaziland

Friends and Family,

I wanted to take some time to write about another opportunity to support Peace Corps Volunteers in Swaziland.  This year, volunteers are raising funds for the annual Books for Swaziland project, which provides 30 schools throughout Swaziland with 1,000 books, as well as training for a librarian.  Volunteers work with schools and community organizations to establish these libraries.  I have applied to receive books to set up a library in the local Youth Center, which will provide a safe haven for unemployed teenagers to escape into the world of reading.  The funds raised will be used to cover the cost of shipping the donated books from the States to Africa. 

The education system in Swaziland employs a very rigid teaching style that encourages rote memorization, leaving little room for the development of creativity or critical thinking skills.  Understandably, passion for learning is hard to come by in schools.  Reading gives students an opportunity to foster this passion.  It gives them a glimpse of a world bigger than their own and a vision for a better future.  It gives them a chance to improve their literacy and English-skills.  Many of us have experienced the joy of reading in our own lives.  If you feel called, please help us bring this joy to the kids of Swaziland!

For more information, follow this link:

 https://donate.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=14-645-001

Ngiyabonga kakhulu (thank you very much!)

Gratefully,

Kelsey/Nosipho

PS. SEE YA IN 2 DAYS AMERICA!!!!

GLOW

As I walked back from school today, I passed a group of four women, each with a baby clinging to their back and wrapped in a swath of brightly colored Swazi fabric.  I stumbled on my words as I turned to greet them.  “Sanibonani bomake...” or were they “bosisi?”  As I took in each of their faces, I debated which category they fell under: women or sisters.  Their young faces suggested they were merely high-school aged, but the babies on their backs led me to believe that “make” was a more appropriate title.  My confusion as to the proper manner in which to address women has become routine.  Yet as I reflect on the importance of female empowerment, I realize that 15-year-old girls with children should not be normal.  Of course, this is me imposing my Western, developed world, feminist belief that women should delay having children until they have at least completed school, or better yet, until they are married.  Who am I to suggest that my way is the best way?  But, then again, when these girls are dropping out of school to give birth at as young as 13 and face a lifetime of poverty without hope of life beyond the monotony of cooking, cleaning, and raising children in the community, I don’t feel that bad about thinking that there’s gotta be something more for these girls.

            The majority of girls my age in my community have at least one child.  When I’m not being asked for money, I’m being asked why I don’t have children.  When I respond that I’m only 23, not to mention the fact that I’m not married, they roll their eyes, refusing to accept my youth as an excuse.  I have become numb to the sight young women carrying babies on their backs, yet I have yet to accept the frequent harassment of young school girls by male khumbi conductors and out-of-school youth.  What saddens me more is the way in which the girls cherish this attention, viewing it as a validation of their womanhood and value in society.  Judging by the number of young girls with children, my guess is that this flirting often extends beyond the confines of the bus rank.  Seldom do these interactions end with flirting.  The awkward sixth-grade style adolescent relationship in which hand-holding is considered scandalous does not apply here.  Generally, young girls engage in relationships with older, more experienced men and intimate relationships are rarely limited to kissing.  Do the math and more often than not you get babies, high school dropouts, and HIV.  Not cool.     

            So needless to say, this country is in need of some female empowerment programs to equip young girls with a sense of identity and greater purpose, to emphasize the importance of schooling, and to instill in young women a sense of individual self-worth that does not require a boyfriend.  For those that do chose to date, we aim to empower them with the confidence to negotiate delayed sexual debut or safe sex practices.  Gender equality and female empowerment have quickly risen to the top of the list of development buzz words in the past 10 years.  If you haven’t read Nicholas Kristoff’s Half the Sky, I highly recommend it.  Through his accounts of various empowered women throughout the world, he argues that in order for true development to occur, nations need to take advantage of their entire population, both male and female.  How can a nation truly prosper when it engages only its male citizens?  Peace Corps volunteers throughout the world have taken this to heart, working in their respective countries and communities to empower young girls to become leaders in their communities.  They have developed a program called GLOW – Girls Leading Our World.  Many PCVs work with local counterparts to form after-school clubs to work with girls to teach them life skills (goal setting, communication skills, values, etc.) and to empower them to become leaders in their schools and communities.  Since June, I have been working with a group of primary school girls (ages 9-16).  Our GLOW meetings have been somewhat inconsistent due to extracurricular conflicts at the school and girls will often approach me on the street inquiring why we weren’t able to meet.  While GLOW is ideally intended for high school girls, I’ve been blessed to work with a mature group of younger girls from grades 5-7.  Meetings serve as an opportunity to teach girls more about what it means to be a leader in their schools, ways in which they can volunteer in their communities, and how to set goals for their life.  Our aim is to provide these girls a bigger picture for their lives that they wouldn’t otherwise envision.  The highlight of each meeting is the question box – a box where the girls can write anonymous questions pertaining to anything – my life in America, how to succeed in school, and questions about puberty.  One Friday afternoon, I spent an hour squatting on rocks under a tree outside answering questions about menstruation.  I often question the impact that I’m having as a volunteer and the effectiveness of my projects, but GLOW provides me with affirmation that my time here is time well spent. 

            Each year, Peace Corps Volunteers in Swaziland who have GLOW clubs in their communities work together to plan a week-long GLOW Camp.  Each volunteer brings a local counterpart and three girls from their communities to attend the camp with girls from all over Swaziland.  During camp, they will have the opportunity to gain valuable life skills, learn about sexual and reproductive health, and discuss with each other ways in which this generation of young women can transform their Kingdom.  One girl who attended camp last year writes, “I learned that any girl, despite her background or how she was treated, can be strong and confident to take an active part in leadership and bring change into our communities.”  This camp requires a significant amount of funding, which depends on support from friends and family back in the States.  If you are looking for a way to support our work in Swaziland, I can guarantee that a donation of any amount will be put to good use.  This is by far the most valuable project that Peace Corps Volunteers are engaged in throughout the world and its impact is significant in the lives of the girls who attend the camp.  I am including a link to the fundraising website for those that are interested in contributing:

https://donate.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=13-645-008

Thanks to good ole' America and its government shutdown, we are a bit hard-pressed for time and hoping to raise the funds by December 1.  We are also in need of in-kind donations for those that are interested in non-monetary contributions.  The following is a list of items we are hoping to collect:

Toiletries:

• Shampoo
• Soap
• Toothpaste
• Sanitary pads

Arts and Crafts:

• Paper
• Markers
• Sewing supplies
• Flannel cloth
• Stickers
• Scissors
• Glue
• Friendship bracelet supplies

Sports:

• Soccer balls
• Jump ropes
• Air pumps
• Dodge balls

Sweets:

• Chocolate
• Candy
• S’mores supplies
• Gum

Games:

• Card games
• Board games
• Sudoku
• TWISTER

Educational Materials:

• Teen easy-read books
• Motivational/Goal-oriented reading materials

Other:

• Glow sticks
• Old Magazines
• Nail polish

In-kind donations can be mailed to:

Lauren Karplus, PCV

P.O. Box 2797

Mbabane, H100

Swaziland, AFRICA

I realize that shipping is quite pricey, so another option would be to mail donations to my parents in the States.  I will be home for a visit in December (!!) and will be able to bring back any donations to Swaziland when I return on January 3rd.  If you are interested in contributing in this way, please shoot me an email at kefreeman9@gmail.com and I will pass on my parents address. 

Thank you all in advance for your help with making Camp GLOW possible as well as for your constant support and encouragement.  I feel incredibly blessed to have such an incredible support base at home and miss you all dearly.

Sending love from Swaziland!

some of my favorite GLOW girls

Where There Is No Toilet

When we arrived in Swaziland, we were given a book titled Where There Is No Doctor.  This practical guide serves as a reference for your basic bush ailments and is best left on the shelf to collect dust because extensive studying of it can lead to unnecessary anxiety and inaccurate self-diagnosis.  In light of recent conversations with my sister who has developed an academic interest in global defecation practices and sanitation, as well as one too many personal emergency bush dumps, I feel that a more useful guide should be developed: Where There Is No Toilet.  Since this has yet to be written, I have decided to take matters into my own hands.  A year ago I would have had more class than to publish the intimate details of poop life in Swaziland on the internet, but when my first task of the day is to haul a bucket of my own urine to dump behind my hut while all the neighborhood school kids observe, there’s not much pride to be maintained.   And let’s face it, poop is hilarious no matter how old you are.  They say you’re not a real Peace Corp Volunteer until you’ve pooped yourself.  On that note, if you ever find yourself in the bush, take into consideration these suggestions from a real PCV:

• BYOTP.  Yes, long gone are the days of BYOB (not that there’s any booze worth bringing in the country – last night I dreamt that I got into a fist fight over the last bottle of Blue Moon…).  Bring your own TP.  TP is a luxury here.  Most Swazis use newspaper clippings as TP.  One morning I found a photo of my fellow PCVs on the newspapers hanging in the latrine.  I promptly removed the clipping and informed my family that it was disrespectful to wipe their butts with photos of my friends. 
• NEVER shine your headlamp down the pit latrine.  Trust me. 
• Don’t be phased when you’re greeted my a child mid-squat next to the road waving, “How are you, Nosipho?”
• I know I’ve said it before, but never trust a fart.  Seriously.
• When it rains, be prepared to use force to fight goats seeking shelter in the latrine. 
• Be wary of picking up pant-less children, 9 times out of 10 it ends poorly and every time you wear that shirt, your host mom will remind you that it is your “poof shirt.”
• Leftover tissue paper from care packages serves as a fine substitute for TP when you run out.  A bit rough on the bum, but it beats newspaper.
• Before closing the door to the latrine, check for snakes and rats.
• In case of emergency mid-run bush poops, it is always preferable to sacrifice your underwear in order to wipe and then abandon them in the bush.  It makes for a much more pleasant commando 5-mile walk back to your hut. 

Overall, it is best to embrace the latrine experience.  I quite enjoy my morning trips to the outhouse and often find myself spending long than necessary in there as I chuckle over the ridiculous newspaper articles hanging inside.  My personal favorite was an interview with a movie star in which she notes, “My faith is very important to me.  Every night I read my Bible.  After that I like to relax by reading Fifty Shades of Grey.”  Come on, girl…

I hope that I haven’t offended any of you and if you ever find yourself where there is no toilet, that you’ll take this advice to heart.  That being said, when you walk down the hall to your porcelain flush toilet, be grateful for the absence of cockroaches, for the softness of the toilet paper and the cute embroidered teddy bears on it, and for the fact that once you flush, you’ll never see that poop again.

The world is your stage and the bush is your toilet