My Thanksgiving blog post was a bit delayed due to minor
health scare, but this has only given me more to be thankful for. Despite my constant complaining about goats
that defecate on the stoop of my hut or the neighborhood girls that don’t
understand the concept of personal space and privacy and spend hours sitting on
my porch and staring at me through the burglar bars (as one is doing at this
very moment) or the constant requests for money and emaswidis, the past five months in Swaziland have helped to expose
the abundance of blessings I have in my life.
To balance out the significant amount of time I spend complaining, I
felt the need to document the many reasons I have to be thankful.
** One of the biggest struggles I have faced thus
far is dealing with the incessant requests for money and food and figuring out
how to manage the guilt that results from not being able to fulfill each of
these requests. I posted an article on Facebook
several weeks back that did an incredible job articulating this constant
internal debate I experience as I attempt to manage my own personal emotional
health while still serving the needs of the community. Do I sacrifice part of my living allowance to
occasionally feed my neighbor who is struggling to find food to take with her
ARVs or do I use this money to go to town and spend time with friends, which is
a necessary aspect of my own mental health?
While this dilemma certainly takes its toll on me, I am thankful to be
in the position that I am for no reason at all besides the fact that I was
fortunate enough to be born into a family where we have never had to question
where our next meal would come from. I
am constantly faced with the injustice of the fact that simply based on the
fact that I come from America, I hold more leverage in Swaziland than the
majority of Swazis do in their own country.
It makes no sense and the inequality infuriates and confuses me to no
end. Unfortunately, my anger and
confusion can do little to change the reality and the only productive response
is to be thankful for the blessings that I have been born into. I hope that I can utilize my status as an
American to serve my community in whatever small ways that I can. I know I will not be single-handedly leading
Swaziland out of poverty or finding a cure to HIV/AIDS, but if I can impact the
lives of just a few people, I think my work here will be worthwhile. I’m not sure if I’ve accurately portrayed
what I’m trying to say, but in short: I’m thankful that the bucket baths are
temporary, that greatest concern is eating too
much food, and that I am able to live without struggling to meet my basic
needs on a daily basis. I have done absolutely
nothing to deserve these things, but I am thankful nonetheless.
**
Many of my Peace Corps friends have expressed
frustration and disappointment at their friends from home who promised to keep
in touch, but have since failed to do so.
I feel incredibly blessed to be having the opposite experience. I cannot begin to express how much I appreciate
the postcards, letters, packages, Facebook messages, WhatsApp texts from
friends and family. Praise God for
technology and smart phones that have allowed me to stay in contact with my
friends and family. I am so thankful for
your support and encouragement and for each of your friendships. I am especially thankful for a Mom and Dad
that exposed me to the world from such a young age and who have supported my
adventurous spirit wherever it has taken me…even to a hut in the African bush…thank
you Mommy and Daddy.
** Being away from friends and family at home has
been extremely difficult, but the Peace Corps family here in Swaziland has made
this transition significantly easier. I
am thankful for the incredible friendships I have formed in the five short
months we have been here. I truly feel
supported from the staff and other volunteers and I’m incredibly thankful to
have been placed in such a small country, where I can easily travel to visit
another volunteer in a single day. As
per tradition, the US ambassador invited all Peace Corps Volunteers to her
house for Thanksgiving. I should have
taken video footage of the 60+ volunteers, who have spent far too long
subsisting on rice and beans, DEVOUR
the unlimited buffet-style Thanksgiving feast.
Every volunteer also came fully prepared with their PC-style Tupperware
containers (read: old yogurt containers) to take home leftovers. We stuffed ourselves silly and not surprisingly
a significant number of us ended up in the med hut the following week… While I
was dreading spending Thanksgiving away from family, I am so thankful to have a
family away from home and I have found this in the other volunteers and staff.
** Speaking of the med hut, I am more thankful than
ever to be HEALTHY! That past week I had a bit of a health
scare. I spent a few too many days
reading the health handbook and used a bit too much airtime browsing webMD.com
in an attempt to self diagnose…I was convinced I had malaria…then it was
appendicitis…surely I would be sent to South Africa for an appendectomy and
then be sent back to the US for good.
Thankfully it was probably some kind of stomach infection and I have
been on the mend since I started antibiotics.
I spent the majority of the week in the Med Hut in the PC Office and am
so thankful to have had access to such great care. It is entirely unfair that based on the mere
fact that I am an American and working for the US government, I received
significantly better medical care than 95% of Swazis. Nevertheless, I am more thankful than ever to
be healthy and to be back at site, despite the fact that I returned home to 5+
hours of laundry and a fresh load of goat poop on my stoop.
** Finally, I’m thankful for the FUN stuff coming up. Swaziland pretty much shuts down for the
entire month of December and most of January, so it is essentially impossible
to accomplish any work during this time.
We have recently completed our integration period and are now allowed to
spend more than one night per month away from site, so my friends and I have
planned several fun gatherings for the next month to take our minds off being
away from family during the holidays.
Next week we will return to our training facility for a weeklong
In-Service Training, where we will receive additional training on the actual
project implementation aspect of our work.
I will likely spend Christmas with a group of other volunteers hiking
and camping somewhere in Swaziland.
We’re currently debating whether to spend a significant amount of our
living allowance on a fancy five course meal at one of the game parks or save
some money and roast hotdogs over a campfire…dilemmas… At the end of December,
a group of about 20 of us are going to Durban, South Africa to spend 5 days
over New Years. I have been dreaming about this trip for the past month and
cannot wait to show off my knees and thighs, which have not seen the light of
day since I left America, to dress like an actual female, to bask in the sun
without Swazis insisting that I carry an umbrella so that I don’t turn darker
(explaining the appeal of tanning to Swazis had been a tough sell…), to eat
sushi, and to see the ocean! I’m not
quite sure what will happen come late January when I actually have to start
doing work, but for now I am thankful for all of the fun activities to look
forward to this month.
I still can’t believe that I’m actually a Peace Corps volunteer in Africa and I am overwhelmed with
gratitude for the opportunity to be here.
Please forgive the sappiness of this post, but lately I have been overcome
with thankfulness for all of the blessings in my life.
