LISTS

I’ve always been a big fan of lists.  My college dorm rooms were always scattered with post-notes of to-do lists.  Until recently, to-do lists weren’t really relevant to my life here.  “Spend 8 hours in my hammock, finish Cowboys Are My Weakness, check, check!”   So, in the countless hours spent waiting for meetings to begin, I’ve compiled a more diverse set of lists.  Here’s a sample:

Things I miss about America – in no particular order (my personal favorite list, also a favorite topic of conversation among PCVs)

• Family and friends
• Timeliness
• EFFICIENCY
• Fro yo, chai lattes, prosciutto, baby spinach, berries, Greek yogurt, Alon’s French Connection salad, Flying Buscuit, Farm Burger, ATL dining in general
• Unlimited calls and texts
• The green couch
• Bosley and the cats
• Country radio
• Respect for personal space
• Customer service
• Free wifi/fast internet
• Showers
• Washing machines
• Grace Midtown Church
• Running without being harassed
• Not being asked where I’m going 24/7
• Pumpkin-flavored everything
• Driving
• BLENDING IN
• Free public restrooms/toilet paper
• Complimentary water at restaurants
• Air conditioning

Things I’ll miss about Swaziland (judging my the length of these first two lists, I think its safe to say America wins)

• Sunrises and sunsets
• Walking everywhere
• Greeting everyone/general friendliness
• Slower pace of life
• Sounds of singing at night
• The stars
• Chicken dust (half a BBQ chicken with maize porridge and salad for $1.50)

Things that got me through my mid-service crisis

• Phone calls with my mom
• Running
• Justin Timberlake’s 20/20 Experience
• Text messages from friends at home that could not been better timed
• prayer
• Watching seasons 1 and 2 of New Girl…on repeat
• Cowboy romance novels…new low
• Lazy afternoons spent laughing with my neighbor and Basanda
• Listening to Sugarland, particularly the song “It Happens” (Ain’t no rhyme or reason, no complicated meaning, ain’t no need to overthink it, let go laughing, life don’t go quite as you planned it, we try so hard to understand it, the irrefutable indisputable fact is, **it happens) – I like to jam to this song every time a meeting gets cancelled or things don’t go as planned…so like every day
• EMILY’S VISIT

Sounds of Swaziland

• Goats, dogs, chickens, cows
• My Babe barking orders to the young boys around the homestead
• The whistle and singing of traditional songs in the distance at night
• Kids singing during weekends and school break
• The electric keyboard at church
• Wails of women at funerals
• Bus preachers
• Gospel music blaring from my neighbor’s car at 6 AM every morning
• Sugar cane trucks barreling down the dirt road outside my window
• Swazi House music blasting from cell phones of teenagers passing by outside
• Women singing praise songs at the beginning of meetings
• Pitch Perfect songs on repeat

Quality knowledge I’ve gained throughout my time here

• Rule #1: Never trust a fart
• The trick to capturing guinea fowl is liquoring them up
• Dreaming about rivers means you’re pregnant
• When you wear your shoes on the wrong feet, you are wearing “banana shoes”
• Buckets can double as washing machines, dishwashers, bathtubs, and toilets
• Striped knee high socks with fluffy ankle socks and flip flops are so in right now.  Oh yea, slinkies also make stylish bracelets and deodorant is overrated.
• When being chased by a hippo, run in a zig zag
• Knees are sexy – cover up!
• Reasons to cancel meetings include: slight drizzle, temperatures about 80 degrees, temperatures below 65 degrees, laundry day, clinic day, firewood collection day, last minute plans, exhaustion from a two hour meeting…three days ago, forgetfulness, lack of desire to attend
• Mosquito net covering on burglar bars

Most commonly heard Swazi phrases

• “Ngiyacela ______” (imali, emaswidi, kudla, emanti, etc.) – I am asking money, sweets, food, water, anything visible on my body
• “Uyaphi?” – Where are you going?
• “Uhamba leni etinyamo? Hamba gibela libhasi!” – Why are you walking?  Take the bus!
• “I want to teka you” – In other words, I want to throw you in the kraal where the cows sleep in the middle of the night while you stand there naked and cry as my relatives shout insults at you.  In Swazi culture, “teka”-ing is part of the marriage process in which the female wails for the loss of her former life as she prepares to move onto her husband’s homestead.  I think it goes without saying that I will not be marrying a Swazi…
• “How are you? I am fine. How are you? I am fine. X50” – This is the only English many young kids know.  What teachers forget to explain is that a single greeting is sufficient, but instead the kids continue to ask “ How are you?” until you’re out of earshot. 
• “Unemanga!” – you are lying!
• “Inkingake” – the problem is…

I think these lists do a decent job summarizing my time thus far in Swaziland.  Here’s to another year of list making..